"I" Statements

I've learned a lot about managing myself in tough times. Whether that be during a panic attack, general depression, etc. There are lots of skills to learn that help manage tough or overpowering feelings. There are also a lot of skills to help manage situations or interactions with other people.

Some of my favorite skills are box breathing, TIPP, HALT, and DEARMAN. These are skills that help both personal feelings and dealing with relationships. I'll go into detail on DEARMAN in the next post. But, an important part of DEARMAN is the "I" statement.

"I" statements help express your feelings without the other person feeling attacked. It really works, you just have to practice it. Instead of going into a conversation with something like, "you make me feel..." You would take on a conversation stating, "I feel... when..." Try to avoid statements that still come across as accusatory, like, "I feel like..." or "I feel that..."

For example, "I feel let down when you don't pick up your toys." This is less accusatory, and simply states a fact, as opposed to something like, "I feel like you let me down when you don't pick up your toys." Do you see the difference?