Adolescence

Adolescence was a very difficult time for me. I started having suicidal ideations and was obsessed with death. I would go for walks along the river and I loved to look out over the bridge and wonder what would happen if I just jumped. I never did, obviously, but I even wrote poetry about the idea. I was also very goth and emo. I loved the music and would dress in black all the time, I even wore dark makeup with black lipstick.

When I was thirteen, I lost my virginity. It was to a friend of my brother's, not to someone I even thought I loved. I wasn't exactly promiscuous, but I put myself in situations that weren't safe. I even went on a midnight stroll in Grand Rapids, where I was staying the night with my grandmother, and was sexually assaulted, as a result. I've told very few people about this incident, not even my own parents.

I had lived in ten different homes, by the time I reached adolescence, and it was making an impact on my life. I had lost a few good friends from moving far away, and started having trouble making new friends. Fortunately, I made two good friends for my middle school years, and they were the best of friends. I even still keep in touch with one of them.