STOP

🛑 What is STOP?

STOP is an acronym that stands for:

• S = Stop

• T = Take a step back

• O = Observe

• P = Proceed mindfully

This skill is about interrupting your emotional autopilot and choosing your next move with awareness, especially when you're about to say or do something you might regret.

🔍 Why Use STOP?

Use STOP when you:

• Are overwhelmed or emotionally triggered

• Feel like acting impulsively (e.g., yelling, self-harming, quitting, ghosting)

• Need to make a big decision under pressure

• Want to avoid a blow-up or shutdown

STOP helps you move from reaction → to responseFrom emotion-driven → to wise mind action

🧩 The STOP Skill in Detail

🛑 S = Stop

Physically and mentally freeze. Don’t move. Don’t speak. Don’t make the call, send the text, or storm out.

🧠 Think:

“Pause. I need a moment before I act.”

Why it works:It prevents you from acting on emotion mind and gives your brain time to catch up.

🐾 T = Take a step back

Literally or figuratively step away from the situation.

• Take a breath.

• Excuse yourself and leave the room if needed.

• Delay action until you're calmer.

🧠 Think:

“Let me take a moment. I don’t have to respond right now.”

Why it works:It removes you from the heat of the moment, so you can de-escalate and gather perspective.

👀 O = Observe

Notice what’s happening inside and around you.

Ask yourself:

• What thoughts am I having?

• What emotions are present?

• What’s happening in my body (tight jaw, racing heart)?

• What’s the situation? What are others doing/saying?

🧠 Think:

“What am I feeling right now? What triggered me?”

Why it works:Observing creates space between stimulus and response, which is where choice lives.

🧭 P = Proceed mindfully

Make a deliberate decision about what to do next—based on your goals, values, and what’s most effective.

• Act with awareness.

• Stay in control of your tone, words, and body language.

• Ask: “What will help me feel proud later?”

🧠 Think:

“What action will serve me best in the long run?”

Why it works:It shifts you into Wise Mind—balancing logic and emotion for thoughtful action.

🔁 STOP in Action – Example

Imagine you just got a text that upsets you, and your first impulse is to fire back something mean or sarcastic.

STOP – Don’t text back immediately. Freeze.TAKE A STEP BACK – Put your phone down. Walk around, take a few deep breaths.OBSERVE – Notice your anger, racing thoughts, clenched fists.PROCEED MINDFULLY – Decide: "I’ll wait an hour and respond calmly. I want to keep this relationship intact."

🧠 STOP vs. Reacting Impulsively

Situation	Impulsive Reaction	STOP-Based Response
Partner criticizes you	Yelling back	Pause, reflect, speak calmly later
You’re triggered in a convo	Walking out or shutting down	Take a break, ground yourself
Urge to self-harm	Giving in	STOP, TIPP, distract, use support
Panic during a test	Freeze or run out	Breathe, ground, remind yourself: "I can handle this."

📝 STOP Practice Exercise

1. Think of a recent moment when you reacted impulsively.

2. Replay the moment in your mind using the STOP steps.

3. Journal or visualize how you would have handled it differently.

Optional Prompt:

“The next time I feel ___, I will STOP by ___.”

Example:

“The next time I feel overwhelmed, I will STOP by putting my phone down and taking 3 deep breaths.”

🔑 Key Takeaways

Step	Purpose
Stop	Interrupt your autopilot reaction
Take a step back	Create physical or mental space
Observe	Tune in to what's really going on
Proceed mindfully	Respond with awareness and intention